Repairing or upgrading your bike! Look for items on UMB site Discussion board for bike fanatics! Visit the UMB store!
Css Menu Javascript by v4.3.0

Special Salty City 2002 Bikelympic Preview is pleased to present this special preview of the upcoming Salty City 2002 Bikelympics, to be held concurrently with that other winter sports event in February 2002. Join us as we review the events, and the leading contenders for the Titanium, Aluminum, and Steel medals.

Downhill Slush Race
Running from the top of Traverse Ridge to the bottom of Hog Hollow at speeds exceeding 60 kilometers per hour, the Downhill Slush Race attracts the fastest slippery-bike athletes in the world.

A leading contender for the Titanium Medal is Chadinsky Runnamok from Froezen, Russia. His aggressive riding style is supplemented by his custom full-suspension bike, made lighter with a secret alloy called Drillium.

Great Britain is pinning its medal hopes on Matt "Toothless" Slidingham, a strong and fearless rider from Borehound in Burpingshire Province. Known for spectacular endos, Matt has a good chance at the winners' platform if he can avoid the trees on this high-speed downhill.
Enjoy the special "Helmet-cam" view during this always-exciting event, sponsored exclusively by
Snow Bike Jump
One of the most dangerous of all Bikelympic events, the Snow Bike Jump requires nerves of steel plus a light touch on the handlebars. Perhaps because of its difficulty, this is one of the most popular contests.

From Hijinksi, Finland, Mikii Blisterhiil is generally agreed to have the best shot at the Titanium Medal. Mikii won the World Cup Bike Jump in 1998, but was sidelined in 2000 by an unfortunate mid-air collision with a pine tree that broke 132 bones.

In the Snow Bike Jump event, points are deducted for falling, swerving after landing, running over the dog, or wetting your pants while approaching the jump.

Shown at the Pritchett Canyon games in 2000, Hunter Snottrickle of Biblebelt, Arkansas, is a leading contender representing the United States.

Concerns about terrorism have led to a change in the format of the Bibikeathalon. Instead of stopping to shoot at a target, athletes will stop periodically along the trail and tell a joke. Extra points are awarded for ethnic, religious, and sexual offensiveness.

Brussarino Soslow of Grapestompi, Italy, is high in the rankings. At a practice ride this winter, his joke about the missionary, the tribal chief's daughter, and the sheep was so offensive the snow melted under the spectators.

Gari Slippinslidi of Footfroest, Romania, has an excellent chance at the medal. He's a tireless and strong rider. Unfortunately, the new format of the Bibikeathalon may give him trouble. During the time trials, Gari's accent prevented the judges from understanding several of his knock-knock jokes.
The local favorite:  On a practice run at his home near Moosebutt, Utah, Engber Nadfrost is preparing to wow the Utah fans with his special "local" jokes.  How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?  Four.  One for the opening prayer, one to release the old light bulb with a vote of thanks, one to bless the new bulb, and one to bring the lime jello.
Cross-country Snow Race
The Cross-country Snow Race is generally agreed to be boring. But Americans are such couch potatoes, they'll watch anything.

Argyll Worstershire of Chillblain, Scotland, is expected to be among the first to reach the finish line. But his arrival at the Bikelympics isn't certain. A notorious cheapskate, Argyll hasn't yet picked up enough beer cans for his air fare to Utah.

Fleeger Nasenpikker of Schiburg, Austria, is ranked among the best in the world. In an exclusive interview, Fleeger said, "Ich werde die Amis ein echten arschkikken geben." We're not sure what he said, but best of luck to you too, Fleeger.
Giant Slalom
On mountain bikes, the Giant Slalom is a much more exciting event. Instead of wussy little colored poles, stout gambel oak and maple form the slalom gates. Imagine the thrill of seeing an athlete slide into a tree at 50 kilometers per hour.

Enrique Nozdrip of Froestbitte, France, almost won the 2000 event, but was disqualified because his jacket was too loud. He's looking for revenge this year.

Another thing that makes the bike slalom exciting:  Riders are sent out from the starting platform every two seconds, in the hope that they'll slide into each other.

Here Dom d'Dominator of Argentina pursues an adversary around the slalom course, on the way to his Aluminum Medal in 2000.

Ice Skating
While ice skating can occur anywhere on the trails of the Bikelympics, the formal Ice Skating event takes place at South Mountain. Weather permitting.

Here during the 2000 Bikelympics, Frigid Towz of Sweden loses points for breaking through the ice.

Thank you for joining us for this special Bikelympic Preview.
See you in February.